I’ve written about self-compassion before, and it's always top of mind for me because of the world in which I work. Having high expectations for oneself can be a great thing, but self-criticism can be much less helpful—and when it intersects with the world of beauty, it can be downright damaging, whether we’re peering at our faces in the mirror and wondering why they’re not as poreless as the ones we see on Instagram or fighting with hair that refuses to sit like a model’s in an ad campaign.
Even when you look fantastic on the outside, your mind might lead you to a different conclusion: that gap between how we look and how we see ourselves is what I wanted to address next, and Bach flowers felt like just the right tool.
What are Bach flowers?
Bach flower essences are natural, non-habit-forming tinctures made from flowers and plants; they work in a way that’s similar to homeopathy, but for emotions, and I’ve used them religiously myself for about a decade.
To me, their efficacy is as much about the practice of taking them as it is about what they contain. Because they’re taken for specific emotional states, they prompt you to notice how you feel, name those feelings, and take a deliberate, positive action in response: a process shown in multiple peer-reviewed studies to be surprisingly powerful for emotional well-being.
What makes this blend of flower essences special?
No one makes Bach flower essences like my friend and Bach flower mentor, Gérard, who founded Les Fleurs de Bach - Elixirs & Co, a Parisian brand we’ve sold at Ayla for many years.
Years ago, Gérard and I began to collaborate on a supplement for self-compassion, a need we both recognized. There’s a unique challenge involved in the creation of a Bach flower blend that can be universally helpful for self-compassion—we all need it, or lack it, for different reasons—so it took a lot of time, discussion, debate, and testing (the full story is on Substack).
What we ended up with is, in my view, perfect: it’s more complex than any other blend I've tried, unfolding over time in a beautiful way that leads to a greater feeling of ease, acceptance, release, and resilience. I could take it every single night, forever, and I’m guessing you could, too.
The Self-Compassion Elixir contains seven Bach flower essences, wild-harvested in France by Gérard himself:
- Agrimony & Crab Apple inspire courage and clarity
- Pine & Oak ease self-judgment and make space for flexibility
- Centaury & Willow support boundaries and ownership, turning self-acceptance into action
- Holly restores the balance required to give and receive love more freely
Our essences are preserved with organic, biodynamic brandy from California; each serving of the Elixir (4 drops in a glass of water, up to 4 times per day, or dropped into your bath water) contains less alcohol than you'll find in a slice of bread.
A note on self-compassion in general
Wondering if self-compassion will make you overly soft? More than 15 years of research, replicated by multiple labs, shows that self-criticism doesn’t drive achievement; it makes people want to hide rather than risk trying again.
Self-compassion is not an invitation to go back to bed, pull the covers up, and opt out. It’s a comforting hug, sure. But it’s also an encouraging nod, a release of self-limiting beliefs, and a gentle hand on the shoulder, turning you toward your next step with a sense of courage, ease, and self-respect. To me, the Self-Compassion Elixir is quiet power, bottled.
This is a special one. I hope it's as helpful to you as it has been to me.
xx Dara
